Wednesday, April 27, 2011


Throatruiner Records
Genre: Post Rock/Experimental
Rating: 3/5

OK so someone sends me this release to review and my first thought is that it's a prank. A prank review, what a cool concept I mean you can't prank phone call anymore. I thought it was fuckin genius, the prank idea that is, since while I'm listening to this I was expecting it to be one band. Strangely enough it sounds like there's three bands contributing songs on here. One's somewhat touching on Black Metal while another is spazz punk with some impromptu jazz touches and the third is a throwback to New York Post Rock era circa late 80s/early 90s. Did you know there's a revival of that sound in our midst? Seriously you can't swing a dead rat by it's tail in midtown Manhattan without slapping a hipster musician in the face who's listening to the Amphetamine Reptile catalog on his Ipod. And trying to find a way to incorporate that sound with something completely ridiculous or ironic and calling it fresh. Well in all honestly I don't think what is being spewed out of my speakers to be a prank. Secondly I wouldn't be surprised if THE PHANTOM CARRIAGE is being blared from an Ipod connected to the stereo system in some pseudo dank dive which sells cheap Pabst tall boys either.

Aside from their eclectic experimentation's with black metal and spazz, clearly evident in the opening throws of "The Horses Feed Their Birds", what the lion's share of New Thing consists of is New York Post Rock. In fact their foundation is clearly Page Hamilton (with or without corpse paint)worship and they fill in the gaps with whatever else is laying around like putty. Sticking to the Post Rock thing this band isn't bad unless they're on a double bill with PLANKS. In that case you might want to hang out at the bar numbing yourself on the hard stuff from the post Post Rock extravaganza. They've got the caustic vocal sound down plus the staccato riffs as well as eclectic time signatures. They even blacken it up a bit on "The Monument on Hendrick's Hill". I wouldn't be surprised to see em signed to Relapse by the Fall. Hell I wouldn't mind seeing this band play a show to an unsuspecting audience. It would be worth the price of admission just to watch a few heads in the crowd explode when they're cruising through their blackened Helmet-ness and then kick in that jazz punk surprise. Woa, look out for all those cheap Pabst tall boys falling from people's grips. Yeah well I am a sadist.



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