HIPSTER METAL: an oped by Mr. Wolf Jan. 2011

HIPSTER METAL: an oped by Mr. Wolf Jan. 2011

Last year I spent a lot of unnecessary time talking on the merits of the term HIPSTER METAL within many of the reviews on SCUMFEAST METAL 666. I think now is about the right time to explain my own opinions on the subject since in a way they are not equal with what alot of others have described in magazines or websites. First off the question needs to be asked and that is what do I believe is Hipster Metal? OK simply put Hipster Metal is Metal or Metalish bands which the hipster crowds swoon over. I know that really doesn't help unless you understand what a "hipster" is along with why they are to be despised, laughed out and denigrated. For that there's some history involved.

I first learned about the term "hipster" years ago while, strangely enough, reading a publication that catered to a more liberal oriented readership. When it came to music appreciation the publication leaned towards things which were more toward a snobbish outlook. Liberals as a rule always look down their noses at things which could be considered "common" (like common sense). Secondly if you toss in their liberal white guilt (aka: racist) approach to everything then you'll understand why they promote things like world music, rap, jazz, etc. The writers (???) of these publications also come from institutions of political/social indoctrination. They have that "ivory tower" mentality and live within a vacuum of ideals where nothing else can creep in. Liberal publications were the first to install virtue to Indie Rock and Alternative music even though there was nothing uniquely independent or alternative about it. Indie Rock or Alternative music were always watered down versions of something that was far better which came before it. In other words it's the pansy version. Prior to Indie Rock there were other terms used like "college rock" or "cutting edge" which once again were used to promote lite versions of the "real thing". Remember the term hipster comes from the pairing of the words "hip" and "shyster".

The specific article I was reading was about a local Indie Rock band which the liberal publication portrayed as "the new band that all the hipsters will be talking about tomorrow". They weren't being negative either since the same publication regularly used the term "hipster" as a way of placing a tag of greatness upon the subject. If you want to be cool like "everyone else" then check this out. It's just another way of saying "trendy". Trendy people are consumers of superficial appearances. They are the ultimate parasites in society rivaling roaches. Not only are they willing to survive off of the crumbs but they tout it better then the loaf it came from. Now when you take that whole ideology and place it in the context of music you have some pansy who thinks their liking of a particular watered down style of music is better than the real thing. Yes it does sound like someone suffering from some sort of mental disease. I call it hipster retardation and something else which comes from it is history revisionism. What was once hated can now be cool again if you assimilate it right and frame the dialog. The justification for Indie Rock parasites was that they might of had a BUZZCOCKS release therefore instant cool was placed upon themselves. Personally I never saw how "Anarchy in the UK" was equal to some post grad liberal loser in a jangly pop band singing about his latent homo-erotic feelings. Although I'm sure most rap songs are a result of past anger felt by the artists (?) after being introduced to prison sex and liberals do promote rap.

Remember "alternative country" aka: Alt. Country? No self centered liberal snob would ever admit to liking country music. To them it was simply beneath them for various bigoted reasons of their own. But someone in their intellectually starved vacuum decided it was alright to like country music as long as they could have a watered down version of it with college kids performing it. So the new trend of Alt. Country was born and it became the new Indie Rock for awhile there. But like all trends it died so now the hipster retards needed something new to use to make themselves feel good and superior. Well what was left since they already watered down Punk Rock and Country music to their pansy standards? What about Metal? The pansy development of Metal has taken some time but has finally been recognized now as "hipster metal". You must remember the process at work in hipster retardation. First take an established art form to justify yourselves then recreate watered down versions. With Indie Rock it was easy since the stupidity of the Punk scene literally handed over certain bands to the pansies. With Country Music it was Johnny Cash covering a NINE INCH NAILS song. As far as hipster parasites jumping on the metal bandwagon who really knows when or with whom it started. Some people will say nu-metal or rap metal might've started it or at least opened the doors. From that point on the hipsters started latching onto certain bands as prototypes for their future clones. This is why there are some bands liked by hipsters and then there are bands created by the hipsters. Either way what resulted is something where I actually saw in print, in an liberal publication as well, the words "metal for the Indie generation". So to put things into perspective the term "Hipster Metal" was coined by the liberals in their publications as a good thing. It was metalish but didn't have all the essential elements of Metal within that liberals always looked down their noses at, in particular individual freedom.

To be a liberal means you are part of the machine, a drone as it were, which is programmed to like or dislike something. To be a follower of trends means you're not free willed. It works the same way within hipster retardation since their music is a joyless hole of empty fuckin noise. So the hipster will go out and look for something "bohemian" in which to satisfy their desire to not look totally as being a pansy. A few years ago hipsters latched onto various aspects of metal and to some degree Hardcore. The thing is that they won't assimilate themselves into the established genre. Hipsters will always look down their noses at Metal as well as any extreme music. The hipster stands to the side and looks in like a cowardly "peeper", for them it's risque behavior. Something that we would take for granted as natural a hipster will do otherwise. I remember when drinking a Pabst was a hipster thing to do. It made me feel bad because I like Pabst. It was the same thing with flannel shirts which I've always worn but the next thing I knew was people asking me if I was into Grunge. Now to be hipster you must be a beer snob and drink some concoction (there's that "cock" insertion again) in a dark bottle with a fancy colorful label. I'll drink a fancy beer if it's free otherwise I'll stick with my Pabst and I don't say "pbr" or any other hip ghetto slang terms. But getting back to the music, it's not really the fault of established bands that hipsters like them. One of the reasons why I don't call alot of band's hipster is because I know years ago no hipster would have liked them until they were told to like them. A few years ago some bands in Black Metal were being accepted by hipsters as being the new thing to get into. I actually couldn't believe it at first. Since hipsters are liberal than Satanism, be it the religious or secular version, would not be appealing. The secular version deals in the ethos of "might is right" which is something a bunch of pansies would not be into. Secondly the whole Satan thing is definitely a no no because you know what the dark lord thinks of girly men and the women who like em right? It didn't matter because of what came next.


Once the hipsters find something they like then they recreate it in their own pansy image. Years ago a friend of mine told me the reason why Elvis Costello received so much critical acclaim was because the people who praised him also looked like him. (Oops!) Look at all the bands hipsters like and then look at the hipsters. I use to call Indie Rock a type of music for pigeons (as in looks and eating habits) and Alt. Country was something you would hear on a jukebox at a dude ranch (who frequents dude ranches?). As for Black Metal the hipsters created post black metal and of course there are other extreme music genres that followed. Hardcore became metalcore a big one with northeastern college boys. They also liked all of that mathcore crap as well and applied it to death metal so now we have Technical Death Metal. It's especially big with pansy boys whose closest encounter with violence is playing a game on their Xbox. Some say shoegazer black metal is hipster but only certain bands who have no bearing in the BM scene. There's always that question of who is a hipster within metal. I always see it as the hipster will listen to a metal band and afterwards discuss the music's merits in a philosophical way, closing it with attacking metal. Where as a metalhead can do the same thing but would rather just kill the hipster. Metalheads, as well as any extreme music fan, are far more intelligent than any hipster. We can discuss the various aspects of the music and the deeper meanings it has. The difference is that the hipster is superficial and would never really live the life. To them the real music is just something temporary. This is why they create bands of their own which are just as fake as themselves.

Nowadays hipsters are feeling the weight of condemnation upon them. Their baby cries are being heard far and wide. Just like liberals who cannot stand the fact the someone calls them out (or will have a different opinion then their own). The hipsters hate the fact that they're being branded with the same tag they created. They're also finding hard to be accepted within certain genres because they expose themselves as hipsters just too easily. Black and Death metal truthers have almost run out all of the hipster filth or at least told em where to shove it. Unfortunately they won't leave all alone. Just in the past few years hipsters have latched onto another Metal genre, Doom. Although they don't like all Doom, especially the really good stuff, but instead like one sub genre of it which is the stoner sludge part. The "stoner" sect I can understand because years ago hipsters were all into heroin chic and the Indie Rock bands who had heroin addicts as band members. It's too bad more of them didn't die of overdoses. The "sludge" part I don't know since it originated from Hardcore. One thing I do know and that's both of these Doom sub genres were popular years ago and the hipsters then looked down their noses at it. Why is it big now with their ilk I'll never know except maybe they were told to like it. Either way in the long run hipster retardation will run it's course and finally leave Metal for something else. The problem is that some people new to "extreme music" will catch the hipster shit first and not likely to dig deep into the real stuff. In the end that hurts alot of people especially bands and clubs who are devoted to the extreme. Along comes a fad and weak people flock to it like a moth to a flame. There are plenty of hucksters waiting to take advantage of it in order to make a buck or advance their career.

There's also the media which will jump on a trend like a fly to shit. Hipster types flock towards the media outlets for work. Decades ago it was the hippies who were writing for the major music media outlets. That's the main reason why BLACK SABBATH was always looked down upon and LED ZEPPLIN was swooned over. Extreme music has always been looked upon with hatred by the uppity snobs of music journalism. Their attitude was that the lower class just can't accept the greatness of the bands/artists they slobbered over because they were ignorant. That's the great excuse of the elitist. It's never based in common sense like maybe we don't like the crap you're peddling. It's always they're smarter then the rest of the hoi polloi, the unwashed masses. (If you're a political junkie like me then you seen something similar this year as far as Washington DC politicians verses the people.) The extreme crowd simply ignored the elitists in the media. They created their own media and covered the music they liked. In a way it was just as elitist except the extreme wasn't trying to force it on anyone and it wasn't phony. It was a do it yourself type of ethic and it worked. In a way it tried to keep the hipster retardation out which it did for a long time. Unfortunately when you have the major music media run by hipster retards then sooner or later they will invade, assimilate what they like and attack all the rest. We're seeing that today but still they're losing. The fans will always be the ones with the last word, not the hipsters. I count myself as a fan. At the end of the year I have a category in the Scumfeast Metal 666 Favorites of the year listings about the Hipster Metal Favorites of the year. These are not picks by me but what I have read hipster scribes harp about. You could say I'm using their own words against them. Years ago when I first read that word "hipster" I knew that sooner or later it would come back to bite them in the ass. Well tell me you hipster retards how does it feel to have half an ass? Don't bother answering I can hear your music.

Mr. Wolf